When I was a little girl, my life was picture perfect. Continue reading “36 Years Of Hate Helped Me Grieve My Mother’s Death”
Music has meaning for most of us.
Who am I? I think I know. I mean on paper I’m a lot of different things.
It’s a fine line between remembering past hurts and thinking others in present day are out to get you as well. So goes the healing wheel. Round and round it goes, when it stops NOBODY knows. ❤
healing, relationships and support
when i log into my facebook account, etc. i often feel afraid and anxious. i think that that i am going to receive hurtful and hateful messages. this is an old thought pattern that originates from when my parents, family and “friends” regularly told me that i was awful, that no one could love me, or like me.
i started writing the first part of this essay on healing after reading a tweet and feeling triggered. as i said above, i usually find using twitter, the telephone, etc. to be hard, emotionally speaking. and so, when i read this tweet, i took it personally, as if this total stranger had written a malicious 140 character attack on me and was sharing it with thousands of other strangers, the evil fuck. there was a part of me that knew it was impossible that this person…
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You’ve managed to break in, though I tried to bolt the door
Here I am broken & damaged, curled up on the cold baren floor.
The boards nailed to the frame gave way, came crashing right on down,
The clatter resounded exposing me, letting me be so easily found.
The single deadbolt was no match for the powerful strength you possess,
My fears came alive as the door flew open, aware of your trespass.
Hiding from you was all that I had ever known, until this very moment,
Begging the heavens every day to hear my pleas for grace & atonement.
But, alas, you pursued endlessly, ignoring all of my coiled meekness,
Striking the first chance you saw, just waiting for a glimpse of weakness.
Inside you reek havoc upon my home, the only safe place I had left to go.
Laughing in my face, mockingly, at the reality I…
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The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2014 annual report for this blog.
Here’s an excerpt:
A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 790 times in 2014. If it were a cable car, it would take about 13 trips to carry that many people.
A beautiful, beautiful sentiment about a young child…follow my friend…she’s wonderful
sweet sydney, soft hearted
so gentle, so small
yet tis you that now gives strength to all
an innocent soul now
in this oh so turbulent realm
so meek and so silent yet front and center
you stand at the helm
we think it is us who take care of all like you,
a vulnerable and seemingly helpless child
yet it is your young spirit that guides;
so freshly departed from god’s arms
that his love still lingers
around you like fragrance on a flower wild
we are jaded, hardened, skeptical
we think we know everything, all that is best
but truly it is in your innocence that
true knowledge and wisdom does rest
if only we were not so arrogant
and could understand we know nothing,
that our hearts have much to learn
then perhaps we would realize that it
is to the young, the brave, our sails must…
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This piece was so moving that I had to share.