The Cost of Being Normal

Bipolar pills 1First of all there is no such thing as normal. I really don’t care what anyone thinks. Now, does society think there is? Abso-fucking-lutely. Which is a shame.

Being normal is way overrated. If I was as normal as some of the people I know that think they are normal? Yeah. No thanks. I’ll take crazy bitch status any day.

Friends and family, society as a whole and whoever else want people with mental illness to get better right? Behave in a good way, hold down jobs and be productive members of society. A lot, I mean a lot of us do. With or without meds and/or seeing a doctor. Hell, half of the people who judge the mentally ill have an undiagnosed mental illness themselves. Is that a correct statistic? Nope. I came up with that on my own. It’s probably very accurate as well.

Those of us who DO see a doctor and take medication are paying a high price for what people think we should be doing.

Yesterday I saw my psychiatrist. I’m having to wean off of an anti-depressant I’ve been on for two years. It was great in the beginning, but now the risks to my physical health are outweighing the benefits of my mental health. Believe it or not stroke level blood pressure could cause me to go on a killing spree just as much as having Bipolar! OMG! (Not really.)

I spend roughly $200 a month, self pay because of no insurance, even though I’m a nurse and make big bucks (yeah right) on my mental health pills. I then pay another $150 a month for the medications I need to counteract the side effects of those other pills. My old anti-depressant? $47/month. Not bad at all. My new anti-depressant? $316/month. Wtf? All of a sudden I’m feeling a stroke coming on just thinking about how I’m going to pay for that after the months worth of samples is up.

So you tell me. What really is the cost of being normal? My pocket book says too much. I rather liked my maniacal ways before I was thrown into a pool of pill bottles. Oh wait. I have a normal persona that I’m expected to keep up with.

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